1. What activities and experiences at ages 12 and 14 has your teen been involved in that might promote healthy behavioral practices, physical fitness and skill in sports?
Sam joined the high school baseball team this year and is very serious about his learning of the game. Being involved in a sport will help Sam stay physically active and help to foster his learning of working with in a group dynamic. Additionally, Sam's uncle is teaching him how to play tennis, which is a very fast paced high aerobic sport.
As for additional healthy behavioral practices, Sam seems to have reached a point of emotional self regulation. He has been stressed a bit with the volume of high school work and the difficulty of testing. We has developed problem centered coping skills, acknowledgement of the problem and the ability to correct it, and emotional centered coping skills. He goes out and shoots hoops in the back yard to get his mind off his problems for a bit. Ultimately I think this will help him to learn to keep a cool head when engaged in sports or other activities.
2. Have there been any changes in your teen’s behavior toward you or your partner? Why are these occurring and how are you responding?
Sam's behavior is definitely following the teenage curve. He has become more argumentative about clothes, chores, curfews, homework friends etc., for the most part we get along. He recently told us that he felt we were more supportive and approving then other parents. However, he also felt we were more strict than other kids parents. Sam is becoming aware of the benefits of our authoritative parenting style. Although, strict, he understands there are benefits.
3. Do you see any examples of how cognitive and physical changes in early adolescence (ages 12-14) relate to your teen's social or emotional behavior?
Many cognitive and physical changes are occurring. He recently demonstrated Stage 3 Heinz dilemma in Kohlberg's Theory of Moral Development. A group of choir students were involved in a stealing incident while on a school retreat. Sam felt that stealing the items was wrong because the kids were letting down their parents and coaches. He lends his beliefs towards more of a conventional level. He did not feel that the legal implications out weighed the moral / social ramifications placed on society.
At 14 Sam has really begun to notice women and sexuality. He is becoming interested in men's magazines and websites involving sexuality. Why in fact just the other day I happened upon a porn download. Sam didn't lie he said it was an accident that he downloaded it. While I feel porn is demeaning to women, I chose to not at this time completely rag on Sam about it. In stead I opted to open up a dialogue about sex so that he could feel comfortable coming to me about it. I will definitely late him know my views as we progress through this stage. I am thinking that I would rather him find fulfillment in a magazine then with another 14 year old girl. But I am not ready to make it OK.
Sam is also starting to venture into the mischievous teenage antics. During Halloween it appeared that he was going to go out egging the neighborhood. Rather than forbidding him to go out I reminded him what was acceptable behavior, ie: no misdemeanors or felonies. I am hoping the last 14 years of authoritative parenting will help to act as his moral compass.
Sam has noticed a bit of peach fuzz on his chin and since his friends are shaving he feels he is ready too. We thought why not so we bought him an electric razor. He is starting to develop his manliness I don't want to be the first one to strip him of his "man card."
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