Bonus

a. Are there any issues you had with your parents, school work, friends, or romantic involvements in the last two years of high school that continued to be issues for you in college?

Yes, I had all of the above. I fought with my parents, when all they wanted to do was help me. I had a very dysfucntional romantic relationship that scared me for years.  And I moved away from my best friends my last years of high school. Lets just say I still work on some of these things on a regular basis.  I feel that I never fully developed a positive self concept.

b. Reflect on your own personality, interests and cognitive abilities at the time you graduated high school.  How have these personality characteristics and abilities continued to manifest themselves in subsequent years ? How have they changed since your high school days, if at all?

I am a pleaser.  I tend to put others before my self.  I used to think that was a good characteristic but as I progress through life I realize it is a manifestation of poor self esteem.  Maturity is about the only thing that has changed in my personality.  My personality appears to be set.

****** 18 ******

1. As the program ends, what pathways does your child appear to be on in terms of physical, cognitive, social, emotional and moral development? To what extent could you have predicted these pathways based on what you knew of your child's earlier development?

Sam's physical development seems to be average to slightly above average.  He played baseball through most of his schooling years.  He never seemed to reach that star status, which only discouraged him a little.  He enjoyed the sport and enjoyed the team atmosphere.  Sam has developed the belief that his body's physical development is important in life.  He has taken care to maintain shape through sports and healthy eating and to avoid drugs because he felt he was an "athlete."  I believe he will continue on this path through out his life as physical fitness has been a focus for him his entire life.

Cognitively Sam is amazing he has strong reasoning and logic skills which is displayed in his straight advanced placement A's .  Socially, Sam is quite, yet well respected.  He seemed to follow all the "norms" when it came to experimentation and risk taking yet avoids the "major" pitfalls.  Sam has good moral reasoning, which kept him out of trouble when exposed to drug's, stealing and girls.  Sam has had 2 serious girlfriends and several "best" friends.   Emotionally, Sam is stable.  He has had one bout of a "depression" like state.  He had a falling out with friends and ended up sulking around the house for a few weeks.  Besides that he tends to be pretty easy going and happy go lucky.   I feel he will do well in the working world, he is going to be attending a very selective college next year which will help tremendously when he sets out in the working world.  Once there Sam has leadership skills.  He will listen to what co-workers have to say, use his logic and reasoning and take the appropriate course of action.  He will be well liked as he is not overbearing.

When Sam first started getting assessments back in preschool we knew early on that we had to intervene and do everything we could to help this developing mind and body be all that it could be.  It wasn't until about 2nd grade that we really felt we were out of the woods with possible adjustment problems.  His love for words, reading, drawing, and math was a pretty good predictor that he was going to do well as long as he had caring guidance.

2. Describe some specific ways in which you think your parenting mattered for your child’s development, based on evidence from the course regarding the contributions of parents to child development.  

In the beginning of this class we were posed with the question what is more important, Nurture or Nature.  At the time I felt Nature was the primary force for development.  Throughout this course and the raising of this virtual child I have come to the conclusion that Nurturing is paramount when it comes to a child's development.  With out the loving guidance of an authoritative parent the child has little chance of developing self esteem and self reliance.  With out those very crucial elements it is difficult to direct ones own life.  There would be barriers to social development.  Education would be limited to the amount of participate in class.  With out self esteem one would be less likely to go out for sports or other extracurricular activities.  Without quality parenting a child is stranded.

3. Describe some specific ways in which your child developed that appeared to be influenced by 

factors outside your control, such as genes, random environmental events or the general influence of contemporary middle-class American culture.

I feel we have same great direction in school, we were diligent with homework and communicated with teachers regularly.  However, that is only the tip of the iceberg.  So much of what Sam did throughout school was done through work of himself and with teachers.   He joined clubs that interested him, ie the math club.  Now I would not necessarily have steered him in that direction but he did it and was very successful. He developed leadership roles in these clubs which will certainly help as he progresses through life.  

As for culture, Sam fortunately was raised by two college educated, caring parents in a middle class environment.   He did not necessarily want for anything and everything was not handed to Sam.  He had to work for the "extras" he wanted.  Sam did not have to experience the financial and emotional hardships that come with growing up in a lower SES society.  Sam was also able to reap the benefits of two educated parents who understood the importance of education in today's society.

Assignment 11 - 16 years

1. Think about your teen’s cognitive strengths and weaknesses and how they are reflected in his or her school grades and activities from 14-16 years of age. What careers or courses of study might be best suited to your teen’s abilities and interests?

Sam has good reasoning skills as demonstrated by his excellent aptitude for mathematics and science.   He also appears to be developing a good moral understanding, particularly with his peers.  He recently had an encounter with a friend on the way home from school, where they discussed personal views.  Sam listened intently to the peers view point but not until he got home did he verbalize his indifference.  Sam is a listener, he takes time to consider what has been said and then draws his conclusions.   

Sam's personality tends to be more of the investigative type, he likes working with "ideas" (pg 359).  I think he would be excellent in the field of science as this is something he both enjoys and excels in.  I believe Sam would also do well in some form of engineering or architecture do to his spatial abilities,  drawing skills and creativeness

2. How important have your teen’s relationships with peers been to his/her social development, emotional well-being and school achievement from 14-16 years of age? 

Sam has had great success in school.  He is on a winning baseball team which has helped his self esteem and has been a constant reminder that his body needs to stay in peak physical condition and therefore is choosing not to do drugs.  Yeah for sports and moral self-relevance!  Additionally, Sam is on the Math team and because of Sam his school won their first math contest.  He must have got that from his father!  Sam also takes on leadership roles in the clubs he is involved in at school.  Which is such a long way from his days of preschool when he was fearful of playing with friends.

3. How has your teen adjusted at 14-16 years of age to typical adolescent issues such as risk-taking, drugs, alcohol, and sexual interests, and how have you responded to your teen? 

I was amazed how much risk taking Sam was involved in this past year.  He came home from a party smelling of marijuana.  He looked me straight in the eye and told me he would never try it because he was an athlete and knew how bad it was for his body.  I believe him, and reminded him of our family policy of a drug free household.  Still I was concerned that he was around the drug.  

He called me at mid-night one night to pick him up from different party.  When he got in the car I could smell alcohol on his breath.  The next day I told him that I was proud of him for calling me and not taking the risk of driving with someone who had been drinking.  I again reminded him of the risks in under aged alcohol.

And he has tried cigarette smoking.  I know he knows the dangers of smoking so it does shock me that he has tried it.  I do think it is temporary but he needed again to be reminded of the addictive qualities and long term effects of smoking.

Sam has had 2 girlfriends and the most recent he declares he is in love with.  My husband and I are quite worried about premature sexual activity.  I have talked with him once about abstinence and the advised on safe sex practices and birth control.  Most recently I had my husband talk with him reiterating our beliefs and again advising him on safe practices and birth control.

Sam got in a fist fight with a friend over his girlfriend.  Not entirely sure what it was about, but it definitely shows his intense emotion for his girlfriend.  The two boys have since made up.  Ah, the teen years!

Assignment 10 - 14 years

1. What activities and experiences at ages 12 and 14 has your teen been involved in that might promote healthy behavioral practices, physical fitness and skill in sports?

Sam joined the high school baseball team this year and is very serious about his learning of the game.  Being involved in a sport will help Sam stay physically active and help to foster his learning of working with in a group dynamic.   Additionally, Sam's uncle is teaching him how to play tennis, which is a very fast paced high aerobic sport.

As for additional healthy behavioral practices, Sam seems to have reached a point of emotional self regulation.  He has been stressed a bit with the volume of high school work and the difficulty of testing.  We has developed problem centered coping skills, acknowledgement of the problem and the ability to correct it, and emotional centered coping skills.  He goes out and shoots hoops in the back yard to get his mind off his problems for a bit.   Ultimately I think this will help him to learn to keep a cool head when engaged in sports or other activities.

2. Have there been any changes in your teen’s behavior toward you or your partner? Why are these occurring and how are you responding?

Sam's behavior is definitely following the teenage curve.  He has become more argumentative about clothes, chores, curfews, homework friends etc., for the most part we get along.  He recently told us that he felt we were more supportive and approving then other parents.  However, he also felt we were more strict than other kids parents.  Sam is becoming aware of the benefits of our authoritative parenting style.   Although, strict, he understands there are benefits.  

3. Do you see any examples of how cognitive and physical changes in early adolescence (ages 12-14) relate to your teen's social or emotional behavior?

Many cognitive and physical changes are occurring.  He recently demonstrated Stage 3 Heinz dilemma in Kohlberg's Theory of Moral Development.  A group of choir students were involved in a stealing incident while on a school retreat.  Sam felt that stealing the items was wrong because the kids were letting down their parents and coaches. He lends his beliefs towards more of a conventional level.    He did not feel that the legal implications out weighed the moral / social ramifications placed on society.

At 14 Sam has really begun to notice women and sexuality.  He is becoming interested in men's magazines and websites involving sexuality.   Why in fact just the other day I happened upon a porn download.  Sam didn't lie he said it was an accident that he downloaded it.  While I feel porn is demeaning to women, I chose to not at this time completely rag on Sam about it.  In stead I opted to open up a dialogue about sex so that he could feel comfortable coming to me about it.  I will definitely late him know my views as we progress through this stage.  I am thinking that I would rather him find fulfillment in a magazine then with another 14 year old girl.   But I am not ready to make it OK.

Sam is also starting to venture into the mischievous teenage antics.  During Halloween it appeared that he was going to go out egging the neighborhood.  Rather than forbidding him to go out I reminded him what was acceptable behavior, ie: no misdemeanors or felonies.  I am hoping the last 14 years of authoritative parenting will help to act as his moral compass.  

Sam has noticed a bit of peach fuzz on his chin and since his friends are shaving he feels he is ready too.  We thought why not so we bought him an electric razor.  He is starting to develop his manliness I don't want to be the first one to strip him of his "man card."

 

Assignment 9 - 12 years old

Sam is surely coming into his own as a teenager.  The signs of puberty are surfacing.  At first it was his behavior that I noticed.  He has become increasingly interested in girls, in fact he was addimit about getting his 7th grade clothes squared away at the start of summer.   He wanted to be certain he was looking cool for school.   Additionally, I came across his personal web page that had some rather crude comments about girls and he had lied about his age and a few other personal details.  I reminded Sam about Internet etiquette as well as safety.   Lieing isn't necessarily new to Sam.  But lieing about his age to "impress" others certainly seems to be a pubescent thing to do.

Sam has been arguing with me quite a bit.  Mostly over chores, clothes and bedtime.  We seem to be working those arguments out by making reasonable concessions like a later bed time for more chores.  He is also becoming more moody.   Sometimes he gets rude with me, which I put in check right away, reminding him to be respectful. 

We had an incident the summer before 7th grade, where Sam and some friends broke into the elementary school to play basketball.  The police notified parents immediately.  Sam was scared and embarrassed.  We felt Sam learned a very important lesson about morals that day.  He knew what he had done was wrong and was willing to face the consequences.  Ultimately we only grounded him for the weekend.  We felt the police and embarrassment coupled with the weekend restriction was punishment enough.

As for physical growth.  Sam is growing like a weed and is always hungry.  I've decided the best thing to do to keep him away from the junk food is to keep a plentiful stash of healthy snack choices in his backpack.  It seems to be helping him make good food choices.   Sam is becoming more and more interested in sports.  He still has not reached his goals of number of home runs and playing in the infield.  We've been practicing at home more often on the weekends to help him meet his own ambitions with baseball.

Sam's temperament has definitely changed.  I first noticed his shifting from a controlled temperament to a more resilient temperament when he turned 10.   He seems to have gotten his timidness worked out.  He is handling his frustrations better and is getting a long better with his peers.  Although a bit quiet Sam is  well liked and  respected among est his clique at school.

The biggest changes that have occurred to affect Sam's temperament are purely us being aware of his over controlled behavior and trying to correct by positive reinforcements and encouraging Sam to become more involved with sports, music, art and school.   I think over the past few years Sam has recognized that he is an intelligent and  talented individual who has much to offer and little to hide.  I believe this has helped his self esteem which has helped him become resilient.

Sam is highly academic he excels in all aspects of study by obtaining straight A's.   Sam is an avid reader and always has been.  We've tried to encourage his reading every step of the way.  Most recently he has become interested in current events, so Sam and I read the paper every morning to discuss events that are of interest to him.  We have encouraged Sam's interest in Science every step of the way by getting him involved in every school science fair we could.  Additionally, he went to Science camp for a week.  We've continued to praise Sam for his great efforts.  Every Semester when Sam gives his best effort we go out to a special dinner and allow him to make a special purchase as a monetary reward for his great effort.  Sam knows his job is to go to school and do well.  We do not feel it appropriate to "pay" him for his grades.  It is what is expected.  We only ask that he do his best.  His best just happens to be A's.  He has certainly set the bar high for his sister.

Assignment 8 -10 years old

1. Describe your child’s academic skills between ages 6 and 10 and assess how well these skills are developing. The 5th grade report card will be useful for this but you should also incorporate your own observations. What are you doing to help your child?

Sam's academic skills between 6 and 10 have been developing well and have stayed primarily along the same curve.  He demonstrates strength in reading, spelling and writing which has always been the case.  Since he started writing at 6,  Sam has liked to write short stories and even illustrate them.    Sam has taken a huge interest in drawing and was even given a special assignment for the school art fair.  

Additionally,  Sam demonstrates strength in speaking and listening in content of social studies and science.  Sam has always been interested in science I think the week like science camp we signed him up for did wonders to foster a stronger love for the subject.    Sam was rated appropriate for grade level in  mathematical problem solving which I found contradictory towards his abilities since he has always been in above grade level classes for mathematics. Perhaps I was not encouraging his math skills enough.  

My husband and I have tried to encourage Sam by taking him to places focusing on topics of his interest like science museums and fairs.   I am proud of Sam I feel his academic performance is outstanding and he is progressing not regressing (although we will need to jump back on math a bit.)

2. How well is your child adapting to social situations in the home and outside the home? Does your child have any behavior or emotional problems at this point? Why do you think these problems are occurring and what are you doing about them?

As for social adaptations, Sam and his sister have been fighting quite a bit.  We find separating them and putting them in time outs in there room seems to be the best way to handle their fights.  Certainly, my spouse and I need to model appropriate behavior when it comes to arguing. We informed the children that it is natural to disagree, but if you argue, you must apologize and make up.  

I do not feel my child has emotional or behavioral problems.  He can be a bit anxious and nervous he sometimes gets very emotional about tests, so much so he gets an upset stomach.   I look on this as Sam does not have full emotional self-regulation but is on his way to emotional self efficacy.   I've taught Sam some yoga posses and breathing exercises for times of stress.  Hoping he can use them as a coping mechanism.

Sam is starting to discover girls.  It seems he is more tolerant of having girls play in his sports games or hang out with he and his friends around the neighborhood.  Sam prefers to have a few close friends rather than a whole bunch of friends at one time.  I encourage him to play with others by having kids over, but ultimately, I feel a few trusted close friend will serve him well.

3. Has your parenting changed since the preschool period and if so, why do you think it has changed and what effect might this have on your child? Refer to your textbook or lecture notes for evidence on typical changes in parenting that occur in middle childhood. 

My parenting is still authoritative.  I still expect Sam to act appropriately and encourage this through loving and firm guidance.  I would like to think through our encouragements we are fostering a mastery-oriented  approach.    I feel that I can trust Sam to make  appropriate decisions for his age.  And have allowed him more freedom without me hovering over his every move.    I tend to be letting him take the lead more than I have in the past.   I am hoping that my maturing parenting style will help to ground his self esteem.  I think once Sam realizes for himself that he is  intelligent enough to make age appropriate decisions he will be well on his way to an emotionally well regulated child. 

Assignment 7 - 8 years

1. How smart is your child, and in what areas? Think back to the blurb on multiple intelligences that appeared at age 6. Find specific evidence regarding your child's verbal, logical-mathematical, spatial, musical and bodily-kinesthetic intelligence from your observations of your own child as well as the psychologist's report at age 8 years, 11 months.

I think one would be hard pressed to find a parent who did not feel that their child was intelligent.   Do to that fact I will break down Sam's abilities based on Howard Gardner's multiple  intelligences.   Sam's musical abilities have been continuing to advance since his self teaching of the keyboard.  He is now playing the saxophone in the school assembly.  

His physical and athletic abilities are average.  He plays baseball and enjoys it, although he has not had much success with home runs.  He regularly participates in school yard sports, rides his bike and skateboards around the neighborhood.   

Sam's understanding of his self or emotional intelligence is above average.  He is a "model citizen" in the class room and and is well liked by other students.  He is able to influence others yet allow them to take the lead in projects.  I look at this is a great since of self esteem and self worth.  Truly a vast understanding of the self.   

We can look at the previous example as well to demonstrate Sam's intrapersonal skills he plays well with other children and seems to have over come his overcontrolled temperament and metamorphosed into a resilient child.  

Sam's naturalistic intelligence is demonstrated through his tremendous love of science and how things work.  He loves to use his imagination and create with his hands no matter what the medium, clay, paint, charcoal or scraps of wood in the back ground.  He has also taught our new dog Max to do many tricks.  Sam spends a tremendous amount of time working with Max basically learning how Max learns.

Sam is working math problems of the 4th and 5th grade level and his psychological report came back as average to above average in the areas of mathematical reasoning.

2. Describe some examples of your child's behavior or thinking that you think are due to typical American gender role socialization and explain why you think so. Several examples can be found at ages 6 and 8. How closely does your attitude toward gender roles correspond to typical American attitudes, and if there is a discrepancy, to what do you attribute this (e.g., cultural background, attitudes of your own parents, etc.)?

Sam is still playing mostly with boys which would be typical of American gender role socialization.  However, he seems to get along with girls better than most of his boy friends in school.   I feel that we as his parents have been really pushing to make Sam aware of the fact that women and men can do most things equally well.  I feel this life lesson will benefit Sam both in the short term, dealing with his sister, and in the long term when Sam deals with girls and women in his day to day life of work and personal relationships.  

My personal attitude towards gender roles is both typical and non-typical.  I am very much not a house hold feminist.  I feel that my role in the family is best suited as a nurturer and my husband is best suited as  a bread winner, protector.   I typically take on the feminine roles of cooking clean and child rearing.  However, last week both my kids saw me up on a ladder unclogging the gutters before the first rain so my husband didn't have to do it when he came home from  a long day at work.   If the lawn needs mowed and he's not home I'll do that too.  If somethings broken, I'll take a crack at fixing it or learning how to.   

My husband has no problem doing laundry or dishes if it needs to be done.  He very much enjoys spending time with our children and helping with school work and sports.  Time is our biggest constraint.  He leaves the house at 6:00 am and frequently is not home until 7:00 pm.  So we do our best to help each other.  My can do attitude definitely comes from formative years living with a single mother and my 2 sisters.   With a houseful of girls we had to figure things out ourselves.  My Dad wasn't there to fix my bike chain when it came off, so guess who fixed it.  Me.  That makes me tear up just thinking about it. 

3. How might your child's development have been different if s/he was raised by people with a different socioeconomic, ethnic or cultural background? Base your answer on specific evidence of SES/cultural differences from the textbook and class lectures.

From our readings back in chapter 2  we know that children of lower SES families tend to foster external characteristics like obedience, and politeness .  Where as higher SES families  tend to foster more psychological traits like curiosity, happiness and self direction. (pg 46-47)  If my socioeconomic status had been lower I likely would not have had the financial means to help foster Sam's love of science by buying books and enrolling him into science camps.  I would not have had the time do to work requirements to take Sam to museums and zoo's.  All these things sparked Sam's curiosity at an early age and has helped develop him into the well rounded young man he is becoming.   Sam likely would have remained overcontrolled or worse undercontrolled without the guidence,  and patience he was provided.

 

Assignment 6 - 6 years

1. How well is your child adapting to social situations in the home and outside the home? Does your child have any behavior or emotional problems at this point? Why do you think these problems are occurring and what are you doing about them?

Sam has been making steady strides towards his school and home  socialization.  He is falling into line with the emergence of Gender Identity (214).  He has been modeling his father's behavior by mimicking sayings, mannerisms and actions.  Just the other day he was right along side his Dad working on a plumbing project and repeating many of the actions and words his father said.  We've noticed Sam's favoritism in male gender so Dad has  tried to reduce the stereotyping by doing more feminine or androgynous tasks with Sam, like cooking.  We have also worked on explaining that both boys and girls can do lots of if not most of the same jobs.

Another aspect of socialization that he has been doing well in is going out to restaurants we have no challenges with Sam at all.  He is very well mannered and behaved.  Now we just have to work on his sister.  

As for school, Sam has a group of close "boy" friends who he plays with exclusively during recess time.  He almost goes out of his way to avoid girls.  I do realize this is normal behavior, however, I encourage him to play with both boys and girls.

Sam is still not as independent as other children.  We are trying to work on this.  He is taking swim lessons at the recreation center we are hoping this will help him develop more self confidence.

Sam does not appear to have any behavioral or emotional problems, other than he is nervous around new situations.  We have been trying to combat this ever since we realized his temperament was over controlled.  We take him out to parks, museums and zoo's, and have play dates.  Most recently we've signed him up for soccer and baseball  hoping to foster self esteem.  

2. Do you notice any improvements in cognitive and language skills since age 4? Give specific examples. Does your child have any special needs with regard to cognitive or language development at this point and what do you plan to do?

We have noticed in the last few months Sam's ability to communicate  with adults has advanced.He uses surprisingly complex words in both his written and spoken language.  I truly believe all the reading that we have done with Sam has helped to enhance his language and reading abilities.  Sam reads on a first and second grade level.   We try to keep challenging him with more advanced books.  He digests them quickly.  

Sam's cognitive abilities have been advancing rapidly as well, he can now beat me in most memory games which is a big change from just a few years ago  when I would have to throw a game or two to keep him interested.   Sam does very well in math however, his favorite subject is science.  Sam loves to go to museums and the zoo.  We usually buy a book at the gift shop that is of interest to Sam to help foster his interests in nature and science.  He has taken to playing an electric keyboard and has pretty much taught him self using a little self help guide.  We are trying to get him interested in singing since he can carry a tune and memorises the words to song quickly.  He only seems partly interested.

3. Which aspects of your child’s behavior and personality reflect continuities from earlier behavior (e.g., at ages 3-4 years) and which seem to be novel for this age level? 

Since around 3 we noticed Sam's interest in books, language and reading.  This interested has not faltered as he is reading on a 2nd grade level.  I would still classify his temperament as over controlled.  He is still nervous in new situations and is not as independent as other kids.  I wonder if this is more of a hereditary trait that has been kept in check because of our awareness and concern for our son.  Perhaps he would be extremely introverted if we had not acknowledged his "overcontrolledness" and tried to a just.

I think his gender identification and stereotyping are novel for this age.  All of the children in his first grade class appear to be going through the same stage at the same time.  I am sure when he is 14 we as his parents will wish he still thought girls had cooties! And some of them still do!

Assignment 5, 4 years

1. How would you characterize your parenting style? How have your specific parenting techniques changed since infancy? In what ways do you think your parenting style, or any other aspect of your parenting, has been influenced by your cultural background or other experiences?

We enrolled Sam into a kindergarten prep session over the summer.  Upon completion Sam received an assessment.  With in the assessment the observer noted that my parenting style fell with in the average when it came to affection and warmth and within the average range for discipline and control. I feel the assessment was quite accurate.   I feel that my spouse and I are exibiting an Authoritative parenting style.  Affection and warmth is difficult to evaluate in this medium, however I have always tried to keep his feelings into consideration when ever confronted with a problem. As for discipline, I have not felt the need to "spank" Sam,  or be overbearing.  I feel time outs and verbal reprimands are adequate punishment.  

My parenting has not changed much since infancy.   Although it has grown and adapted as Sam has grown and adapted.  I think in the beginning I realized that Sam was very attached to me and my spouse.   We made attempts to help him socialize with other adults.   We just have not been able to break him of his clingyness to his teachers.  All along we have realized that he was above average in his spatial and vocabulary skills and continued to foster those skills.  

Culturally, I feel that my parenting style was influenced by my SES status.  I was able to stay home with Sam which gave me a tremendous amount of one on one time to with Sam.  It also gave us the opportunities to go to museums, and zoo's and have playdates with other children at young ages.  A working mother would not have the ability to spend as much time fostering there children's interests, purely on the stand point of time alone.

2. Describe two specific examples of changes in your child’s behavior at age 4 that seem to stem from growth in cognitive and language ability since the period of infancy (e.g., improvements in symbolic thinking, reasoning, knowledge of the world, theory of mind).

Sam loves make believe play.  He frequently will act out adventures with his action figures and loves to pretend to be someone or something else with friends and family.   I think this is a direct relation to cognitive growth as seen through Piaget's early childhood schemes.  Sam's play is less self-centered and he is including more complexity in his play, by making his action figures act out adventures.  

Sam's reasoning skills are advancing so quickly.  I feel language development has hugely influenced this.  Sam now has the words to articulate a question and the language and  reasoning skills to interpret the question.  

3. How would you characterize your child’s personality? Would you say that your child is primarily overcontrolled, undercontrolled or resilient? Support your argument.

Sam's personality is a mix of characteristics.  Mostly he would fall into over controlled.  He follows the rules and isn't aggressive, yet when he is faced with an uncomfortable situation he becomes shy and clingy.   I feel resilience is beginning to come out in him.  I think his cognitive abilities and reasoning skills are helping him break out of the overcontrolled and he is realizing he is able to do more and enjoy more if he participates. 

 

 

 

Assignment 4 - 3 years 10 months

1. Our family likes to regularly take Sam to the park for physical activeness.  He likes to play on the swings and ride his bike.   We like to play basketball and baseball at home, even though Sam is a little young to follow the rules of the game.  We feel this is helping him develop a healthy love of physical exercise.   Additionally, we have been working with Sam on hand washing and good hygiene to promote a healthy immune system.

2. Sam's language and cognitive skills are above average which really just helps the whole family.  He is able to express his feelings to us, happy or sad.  Which helps keep the much needed harmony in the house.  Sam is able to listen and follow direction from both of us as well as from his teacher.   He also has the ability to satisfactorily complete the tasks we ask of him.  This helps him stay focused and keeps frustration levels  down.   Basically, Sam knows what is expected of him,  how to do it and knows how to express if he does or does not like it. 

3.  Sam really is doing wonderfully socially.  We have had some new events occur.  I recently had a baby girl.  Sam was very excited about her arrival.  He has been such the big brother.  He loves to hold and rock her and even gives her a bottle of expressed milk.   Sometimes he likes to pretend to be a baby, and I go right a long with it.   I do not recognize this as regression, simply a reminder that he is still my "baby" too!  Sam and the new baby are now sharing a room, he seems to be ok with it so far.  He sleeps right through the middle of the night cries.  

As far as school goes, he has a couple of close friends that he plays with.  He is cooperative and friendly and is able to stay on task which shows he is learning self control.  On occassion Sam can get clingy with the teacher and she just needs to provide a little extra encouragement to join his friends again.   I feel he is using her as his "surrugate attachment item."  I see it as a sign that he needs to have more time exploring on his own or with other close family members.  

My husband and I had been saving up to buy a new home.  We really were not thrilled with the crime rate in our neighborhood and wanted Sam in a better school district.  We have been doing ok financially, but saving has been stressful.  We have been arguing a bit lately.  One night I got so angry I left the house.  Sam got really upset and cried.  For a few weeks after that he was very fearful of me leaving him.   He does have some issues with separation anxiety.  Virtual Me, should be more cognizant of this fact and not do stupid thanks like yell at my husband in front of him and than storm out off.  

All the saving paid off and we just moved we are not sure yet how Sam is handling this change we will have to report back on our next blog.  For now though, we've meet some parents with kids his age and have arranged some play dates.